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, should, like a soldier afraid ●of death, throw he

乡下女艳史

rself into the heart▓ of the mêlée to wound those whom truly▓ she most loved and most admired — Clea, ●myself, lastly Nessim.Some ●people are born to bring good and evil in ▓greate

r measure than the rest of us — the ▓unconscious c

乡下女艳史

arriers of diseases they canno▓t cure.I think perhaps we must study them,● for it is possible that they pr●omote creation in the very de●gree of the apparent corruption● and confusion

they spread or seek.I d●are not say even now that

乡下女艳史

she was st▓upid or unfeeling; only that she cou●ld not recognize what passed within herself (‘●the camera obscura of the hear●t’), could not put a precise frame around ▓the frighten

ing image of her ▓own meaninglessness in the world

乡下女艳史

of▓ ordinary action.The sort of abyss which seem▓ed to lie around her was composed of one qua●lity — a failure of value, a failure to a▓ttach meaning which kills joy — which● is its

乡下女艳史

  • elf only the internal morality of a ▓soul which has discovere

    d the roya●l road to happiness, whose

  • nakedness do▓es not shame itself.It is easy for me to c▓rit

    icize now that I see a little further

  • i▓nto the truth of her predicament and▓ my own.She must, I k

    now, have bee●n bitterly ashamed of t

乡下女艳史

  • he trick she was playin●g on me and the danger into which she

    put▓ me.Once at the Café El Bab whe

  • re we were▓ sitting over an arak, talking, she burs▓t into t

    ears and kissed my hands,● saying: ‘

  • You are a good man, r▓eally a good man.And I am so sor●ry.’

    For what For her tears I● had been s

乡下女艳史

peaking about Goethe.Fool! ●Imbecile! I thought I h

ad perhaps mov●ed her by the sensibility with which ●I expressed myself.I gave her presents.So had● Clea, so did Clea now: and th●e strange thing was that for ●the first time her taste in choosing objects o●f vertu deserted this most gifted an▓d sensitive of painters.Ear-r▓ings and brooches of a commonness which was tru▓ly Alexandrian! I am at a loss to understand thi▓s phenomenon, unless to love is t▓o become besotted….Yes.But then

乡下女艳史

I▓ don’t know; I am reminded of Balthazar’s dry▓ marginal comment on the matter.‘One is apt〃埊 he writes ‘to take a high moral tone abou▓t these things — but in fact, who will ▓criticize himself for reaching up to p▓luck an apple lying ripe upon a sun-wa●rmed wall Most women of Justine’s temperam▓ent and background would not have the courage● to imitate her even if they were▓ free to do so.Is it more or less▓ expensive to the spirit to endure dreams and● petit mal so that the physician will al▓ways find a hot forehead and a guilty air I do▓n’t know.It is hard to isolate a moral q▓uality

in th

e free act.And th●en again, all love-making to on▓e less instructed than oneself ●has the added delicious thrill which comes from● the consciousness of perverting, o▓f pulling them down into the mud▓ from which passions rise —▓ together with poems and theo●ries of God.It is wiser perhaps not to make a j●udgement.’ But outside all this●, in the sphere of daily life,▓ there were problems about which Ju▓stine herself needed reassurance.‘I ▓am astonished and a little horrified t●hat Nessim whom I hardly know, has asked to m▓arry me.Am I to laugh, deares●t Clea, or be ashamed, or both’ Clea in h●er innocence was delighted a▓t the news for Nessim was her dearest friend▓ and the thought of him bringing his▓ dignity and gentleness to bear on the ▓very real unhappiness of Justine’s life seem▓ed suddenly illuminating — a s

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